Showing posts with label guest posting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guest posting. Show all posts

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Book Review: Baby Faces

As we all know, there is no higher honor in life than being given a guest post spot here at Grey Skies. Today, I magnanimously allow my youngest child, the 6-month old Duke of Juban, to write a review of his favorite book. Enjoy.

***

Baby Faces. 2006 Ed., originally published 1998. DK Publishing, Inc.





:::Spoiler Alert!:::

The literary world is, of late, unfairly divided into two camps: those who have read the classic board book, "Baby Faces," and those who have not. The message boards are on fire with furious and poorly constructed arguments on both sides. But I say that this is an unfair division because to eschew vitriol on babies who haven't read this book is to misdirect the blame. No one doesn't read "Baby Faces" because he or she doesn't want to read it; rather, one doesn't read "Baby Faces" because one's parent or guardian does not keep it in the house. The blame, then, lies with the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and well-meaning family friends who refuse to expose their baby to the cultural nuance of such a book, the underlying message of inclusion and diversity, and the sheer - I would say almost bottomless - emotional depth the book provides. Shame on you, grown-ups.

Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about the book. "Baby Faces" presents two challenges to the modern baby reader: first, there are words, and while it is not imperative to have a grown-up read the words to you, I do highly recommend you find one who will do this for you; and second, there are no new textures to touch or chew on as there are with other well-esteemed members of the baby board book cannon such as "Animals" or "Let's Get Dressed." But the lack of texture inside "BF" enhances, rather than detracts, from the book's draw: you, the reader, are forced to really LOOK at the baby faces. This emphasis on the sense of sight -- and only sight -- is deceptively simplistic. If you don't believe me, wait until you get to page 3: after two seemingly straightforward faces of babies listed as "Happy" and "Sad," the word under the emotion is read as "Puzzled," but clearly this expression can additionally be interpreted as "confused," "disappointed," or even "constipated." The brilliance of this writing is so far above what most baby books present, and in this way the reader is rewarded for his or her persistence, patience and intelligence.

One of the book's more controversial moments, and my personal favorite, is the two-pager "Peek-a-boo!" scene. In case you've been living under a rock and haven't caught wind of the firestorm surrounding this dramatic scene, I'll sum up for you: a red jumper-clad baby appears from under a basket, thus demonstrating the traditionally admired game of "Peek-a-boo!" 

The controversy around this scene is twofold. Not only does this scene take up two pages of a 16-page book, but in the first page of the scene the baby is not entirely hidden under the basket. In what is widely regarded as the authoritative book written on the subject of "Baby Faces," Stuart Gilbert's "James Joyce's Baby Faces: A Study" claims that without the baby's eyes being hidden by the basket, this game of "peek-a-boo" is false, and a trick. While that is a fair and valid reading of the scene, I agree with what David Foster Wallace said in an interview, which is that by seeing the baby's eyes at all time the scene is meant to be a parody of "peek-a-boo," and the reader invited in on the joke. 

Finally, no review of "BF" is complete without at least a casual mention of the kissing page. If the "peek-a-boo" pages are one of the book's more controversial scenes, then the kissing page is, without a doubt, the most controversial scene. Some words pulled from other reviews and online message board comments about this scene call it "gratuitous," "exploitative," or even "silly," but again, those are overly simplistic explanations for a rather complicated book. Sure, in an otherwise culturally diverse book we have two white, blond babies giving each other a little kiss, which might undermine the presence of the rest of the colorful cast, but my reading of the scene was that it was a natural progression of the plot. 

My strongest issue with the book is the ending. After rewarding the reader again and again with imaginative plot twists ("Angry" juxtaposed with "Worried!") and wink-wink-nudge-nudge satiric humor ("Hungry!"), I was left with a bad taste in my mouth at the vapid "Fast Asleep" last page. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but I don't like when a book thinks it can trick me into sleeping with a picture of a - yes - sleeping baby. Not only was this an insult, but it was a low-brow one, which makes it all that much more disappointing.

Will "BF" be loved by everyone? Of course not. It already isn't. Is this something everyone should read anyway? Absolutely. Despite the ending the book manages to entertain, surprise, and challenge the reader in the best of ways, and this is why I return to these colorful pages again and agin.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Animals Hate Me: The Squirrel Story

Meredith's Note: 
This week I'm off to have a baby, so for the next few weeks you lucky readers will get to enjoy guest posts by some of my nearest and dearest. They are all super awesome and wonderful, so please make them feel welcome!

First up, my cousin-in-law Mary Jo (aka "Mrs. Rudy" to some), who has several hilarious animal stories to share, starting with this one.


***


Ah yes. The simple joys of owning a home: mowing the lawn, gardening, painting, decorating and, best of all, cleaning the squirrel poop off the kitchen counter.

Hubby and I got home kind of late one night, about 8:30, and I went upstairs to change while he sorted through our pile of mail in the kitchen. I got back downstairs and picked up a handful of mail, turned to put it with the rest of the mail we've accumulated for the former owners of our house, and saw that the pile was spread all over the kitchen counter and onto the floor. We hadn't noticed this when we walked in - keep in mind, the Hubby had turned on the kitchen light and been in there for about 5 minutes without any indication that we were not alone. So that pile was a mess and there was dirt or something across the kitchen counter. I looked across the counter following the trail of "dirt" to the corner of the kitchen, where I made eye contact with, what I affectionately refer to as, the Little F*@&er.

There was a squirrel, chillin' on my counter, eating a banana. We made eye contact for a moment, neither of us sure what our next move would be. I swear the thing looked like it was going to pounce. Hubby claims I screamed, I think it was more of a loud gasp, and I turned around and took a few steps back. Hubby, not being able to see around me to see the L.F., asked what was wrong. It took a moment for the words to actually come together in my head. "There's a squirrel…on our counter…eating a banana" I slowly gasped. Then the L.F. realized we both saw him, leapt from the counter and bolted into the living room. Hubby opened the patio and tried to shoo him out, but L.F. ran upstairs. Hubby followed him, and when he couldn't get him to come out of the bedroom, he closed the door, trapping the LF. During this chase, I protected the couch by standing on top of it doing what would I would like to think of as a secret squirrel exorcism dance – not a chicken-shit-terrified-of-a-squirrel-attacking-me dance.

So we called Animal Control for an emergency visit, which in our neck of the woods is a private service and crazy expensive for an emergency call at night. But after telling Hubby that I was not living with Wild Kingdom going on in my house, he asked the guy to come right out. The guy showed up and slipped into the bedroom with LF, holding his cage. There proceeded to be a sequence of banging, chirping and crashing for about 10 minutes. He finally came out, with the cage full of the mutant ninja squirrel. ["Mutant Ninja Squirrel" would be an awesome name for a punk band. - Meredith] I think the squirrel gave me the squirrel-equivalent of the finger (the claw?). And I'm pretty sure it was deranged because the entire time we talked to the animal control guy, the squirrel was gnawing at the cage and running in circles in it. The guy told us the squirrel would be released back to nature and despite being a pretty hardcore environmentalist, I told him I could not care less.  We wished the nice man with the cage a good night and then I turned to the squirrel and wished it happy trails (or more exactly, "You will never see your family and friends again, useless rodent"). If any wildlife is waiting for us ever again, I am going Christmas Vacation on it, throwing a jacket over it and hitting it with a hammer.

 Lessons learned:

 1. If you hear noises coming from your chimney, don't waste time, get someone out there. We heard what we thought were birds on Saturday, but figured we would take care of them in the next week when we weren't busy. HA, joke’s on us!

 2. Squirrels like bananas. LF ripped into one of the banana's on counter and ate the entire thing.

 3. Squirrels save up all of their poop until they break into someone's house, and then find annoying places to leave it. Hubby cleaned, disinfected and fumigated most of our kitchen counter because the LF left all sorts of doots on it. And then I cleaned my desk and the floor in the bedroom, because amazingly he still had more doots to distribute.

 4. Animals hate me. I've been chased by a cow, a deer hit our car, and now a squirrel busted in my house and pooped all over. What’s next? A bunny going to jump me in a dark alley?

 5. There is a rather severe gap in Home Maintenance for Dummies: Deranged, Mutant Squirrel Maintenance.




 
Mary Jo Mullen is a mom of two wild boys (ages 1 and 3), wife of a huge Fighting Irish fan and employed by the federal government.  If she didn't have a sense of humor, she'd be wearing a pretty white jacket that ties in the back.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Follow Me to My Guest Post!

I'm so internet famous now that other bloggers ask - nay, beg - me to guest post for them. Today I'm hanging out with Greta Van Der Rol of Perceptions of Reality to talk about moving beyond your "Aha!" moment of inspiration to sit down and really write:

http://gretavanderrol.net/2011/12/08/clear-your-throat-then-write/